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Any Married Folks Eating Stale Bread Alone?

“Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting—and conflict.”⁣ ⁣⁣ Proverbs 17:1 made me laugh and think.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Let’s be honest, marriage can be challenging. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ My husband and I met in college and began dating a year after graduation. We partied, traveled, worked, adventured for 5 years before tying the knot. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Two people. Two personalities⁣⁣. Two different racial backgrounds (black and Korean). Two contrasting upbringings.⁣⁣ Two sets of issues. Two sets of peeves⁣⁣. ⁣⁣ All under one roof, for the first time. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ The honeymoon phase faded quickly when, during every meal, he smacked loudly as he shoveled food quickly into his mouth. (Somehow I missed that when we were dating) ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Or, when he began using his feet as a second pair of hands.⁣

⁣⁣⁣⁣Those were starters for what would ultimately lead to bigger, more serious gripes that strained our marriage. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ What we were dealing with was immaturity, selfishness, pride, stress, loss of identity or attempt to keep it. ⁣⁣For me, I felt a lot of hurt and a lack of support. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I wanted to win, and so did he. I wanted to be heard, and so did he. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Several months ago, I told God if he wanted us to remain together he has to do something because I was over it. I was casting this problem onto him. ⁣⁣ ⁣ He did something alright. It wasn’t my husband he changed, it was me. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I guess a stroke-like panic attack AT WORK, on a floor with 100 people, and 3 EMT workers surrounding you can have a calming effect! ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ I’m better now at sedately stating my boundaries and feelings, saying such things as, “You know, that really bothered me, I’d like it if you didn’t go further.” ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ But sometimes the sista-girl in me says, “Not today. I’m not your problem and you’re not about to be mine. Let me slide on in the room with my stale bread and eat in peace while you get it together.”⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Better than feasting in conflict. ⁣⁣ Tell us about your dry crust moments below👇🏽⁣

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