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Depressed Mom: You're a Hero in Your Book

Depressed Mom, you’re a hero in your book. Don’t forget it. ⁣ ⁣ I saw a chapter of mine recently. ⁣ ⁣ I started going to therapy a few months ago. My therapist asked a question that stumped me. ⁣ ⁣ If you’ve been around me, you know I talk a lot. ⁣ ⁣ But I was silenced by: “Who are you in your book, the victim, the villain or the hero?” ⁣ ⁣ We were only a couple of sessions in and we had spoken mostly about my childhood and teenage years. ⁣ ⁣ Depression, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts too.⁣ ⁣ My response, finally: “From what we’ve shared so far, it sounds like I’m the victim?”⁣ ⁣ It turns out I was both victim and villain, bringing up painful pasts that roadblock me, then bashing myself for it. ⁣ ⁣ Her next set of questions left me mute even longer.⁣ ⁣ “When are you the hero? Are you ever the hero?”⁣ ⁣ I think. Suddenly, the hero in me lights up.⁣ ⁣ I’m a hero because there have been many days where I didn’t want to live. Getting out of bed hurt. ⁣ ⁣ Trying to function in the world feeling like a broken toy that slipped passed manufacturer inspection, even harder. ⁣ ⁣ You’re in this very dark, cold, lonely, hopeless place. It’s painful living.⁣ ⁣ Yet, I got up every morning and prepared my daughter for school. I went and performed at work, some days having panic attacks in the bathroom stalls. ⁣ ⁣ There were days I cried all the way home, wiped my face and went in to greet my family with smiles, hugs, and kisses.⁣ ⁣ I helped with homework, read to her, did prayers with her, bathed her, sang with her. And when she went to sleep, I ate, cleaned up a bit and prepped for the next day.⁣ ⁣ In silent moments I’d crack, but morning came again and I was able to wash, rinse, and repeat.⁣ ⁣ The grace of God sustains you, Depressed Mom. ⁣ You are a hero in your book. You are a hero in God’s book. ⁣ ⁣ His characters always win! ⁣ ⁣ So, find the victor in your story every day, because she is written.

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