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The Truth Hurts. I Know I'm Making Some of You Uncomfortable

I know what I’m writing is making some of you uncomfortable. I get it; it makes me uncomfortable too.⁣ ⁣ “Daddy, why don’t you love me?” struck a cord with those who have their own daddy or mommy issues. ⁣ ⁣ “Me and Jessie” may have brought up flashbacks of abuse, of a time when you felt like me or my beautiful German Shepard-Husky mix. ⁣ ⁣ Maybe you feel you can’t relate at all. OK, but someone or some ones and something or some things hurt you. ⁣ ⁣ And I’m willing to bet that if you took a page from your pain book, it too would read like a fictional story—perhaps suspense or horror.⁣ ⁣ I’ve run away from the pain for too long. I said, “that didn’t happen to me” for so long because who wants to see themselves as their hurt. ⁣ ⁣ In these writings, I’m confronting those “some ones” and “some things” because I want to heal. There will even be times where I confront myself. ⁣ ⁣ Those confrontations don’t and won’t be easy. The truth hurts! ⁣ ⁣ But I want to know the full joy and the full me Jesus died for. I want to know that person he looked at and smiled upon when he thought of creating me because I don’t know that girl. ⁣ ⁣ I want to know the real me. Not the me that was shaped and created through hurt but the one God says I am. (I have a feeling I’m going to love her 🤗)⁣ ⁣ Every time I write, publish and release, I’m telling it, “you tried to kill me and break me, but no more. Your reign of terror over me is done! I’m reclaiming my spirit.” ⁣ ⁣ I see it in the pictures of those two posts. ⁣ ⁣ The first of me and my dad made me cry. I felt bad for the woman I saw. ⁣ ⁣ The second made me cry too. I saw sadness, pain and a story in her eyes. Then I looked again and saw strength and amazing testimony.⁣ ⁣ With every new grasp on me, the more I know God and understand what it was all for. ⁣ ⁣ They thought they were destroying me. I thought they were too. Unbeknownst to us, God was behind a secret tarp building with the broken pieces. ⁣ I’m finally understanding the phrase “Beauty for ashes.”⁣

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